In the future, young adult ministries will be full of hipsters…
Pastor: Hey man! Good to see you, welcome to “The Point” ministries! My name’s Jamin and I’m the pastor here. What’s your name?
Hipster: Hi, I’m Richard, but all my friends call me Pilgrim.
Pastor: Haha, well hey there Pilgrim! That is a sweet scarf!
Hipster: Uh… It’s actually a traditional columbian garment.
Pastor: Oh, well that’s fancy. You knit it yourself? Haha.
Pastor: Oh cool. Yeah knitting is awesome and stuff. You knit that shirt too?
Hipster: No. It was a dollar at goodwill.
Pastor: Okay, well, why don’t you grab some food over there with the others and then join us in the sanctuary for worship.
Hipster: Is that vegan?
Pastor: Uh… no. That is chicken.
Hipster: Unamused look
Pastor: But the chicken was vegan! Haha!
Hipster: Unamused look
Pastor: Well there’s plenty of other food over there that’s not chicken. You can make yourself a nice salad.
Hipster: Is it organic?
Pastor: No. We don’t have that kind of money in the budget.
Pastor: I don’t believe that salad really has gluten in it.
Hipster: Maybe not yours.
Pastor: Uh…okay. well I’m going to go meet a few other people, but make sure you get into the sanctuary quick! David Crowder happened to be in town today and agreed to lead our worship!
Hipster: Crowder’s here?
Pastor: Yeah man! You know Crowder?
Hipster: Meh. He used to be cool. Then he got famous and lame. Total sellout.
Pastor: You think so? I thought his music got way more unique and complicated over time. He never seemed to just go with the industry standard.
Hipster: I’d rather just go home and listen to him on vinyl.
Pastor: You mean like those old records?
Hipster: Yeah, everything sounds better on vinyl.
Pastor: Uh… okay sure. But you do realize we have the real deal here with us tonight right?
Hipster: I guess that’s cool if that’s your thing. I saw them at a really small venue a few years ago with Johnny and the Seagulls so… whatever.
Pastor: Johnny and the Seagulls?
Hipster: Yeah—now they’re amazing. They have a full time ukeleist in their band.
Pastor: Huh, sounds made up to me.
Hipster: They’re not. I know lots of bands you’ve never heard of.
Pastor: Oh, wait! I have heard of Johnny and the Seagulls before!
Hipster: Yeah. They’re alright I guess.
Pastor: Yeah that’s, I thought. Alright, I’m gonna head in. Oh, here’s a bulletin before I go.
Hipster: Ugh… arial.
Pastor: Uh oh, ex-girlfriend here?
Hipster: No. This font. It bugs me deeply.
Pastor: You bug me deeply.
Hipster walks over to another hipster.
Hipsterest: Sigh… This sucks.
Hipster: Really?I think it’s pretty cool.
Hipsterest: I guess it’s alright.
Hipster: No, I hate it.