The Pastor and the Hipster

I was asked to make a few videos for a young adult ministries conference awhile back. Here’s what I came up with after getting some hipster help from Cracked and Stuff Hipsters Say.

ORIGINAL SCRIPT

Black Screen:

In the future, young adult ministries will be full of hipsters…

Pastor: Hey man! Good to see you, welcome to “The Point” ministries! My name’s Jamin and I’m the pastor here. What’s your name?

Hipster: Hi, I’m Richard, but all my friends call me Pilgrim.

Pastor: Haha, well hey there Pilgrim! That is a sweet scarf!

Hipster: Uh… It’s actually a traditional columbian garment.

Pastor: Oh, well that’s fancy. You knit it yourself? Haha.

Hipster: …Yes.

Pastor: Oh cool. Yeah knitting is awesome and stuff. You knit that shirt too?

Hipster: No. It was a dollar at goodwill.

Pastor: Okay, well, why don’t you grab some food over there with the others and then join us in the sanctuary for worship.

Hipster: Is that vegan?

Pastor: Uh… no. That is chicken.

Hipster: Unamused look

Pastor: But the chicken was vegan! Haha!

Hipster: Unamused look

Pastor: Well there’s plenty of other food over there that’s not chicken. You can make yourself a nice salad.

Hipster: Is it organic?

Pastor: No. We don’t have that kind of money in the budget.

Hipster: Gluten-free?

Pastor: I don’t believe that salad really has gluten in it.

Hipster: Maybe not yours.

Pastor: Uh…okay. well I’m going to go meet a few other people, but make sure you get into the sanctuary quick! David Crowder happened to be in town today and agreed to lead our worship!

Hipster: Crowder’s here?

Pastor: Yeah man! You know Crowder?

Hipster: Meh. He used to be cool. Then he got famous and lame. Total sellout.

Pastor: You think so? I thought his music got way more unique and complicated over time. He never seemed to just go with the industry standard.

Hipster: I’d rather just go home and listen to him on vinyl.

Pastor: You mean like those old records?

Hipster: Yeah, everything sounds better on vinyl.

Pastor: Uh… okay sure. But you do realize we have the real deal here with us tonight right?

Hipster: I guess that’s cool if that’s your thing. I saw them at a really small venue a few years ago with Johnny and the Seagulls so… whatever.

Pastor: Johnny and the Seagulls?

Hipster: Yeah—now they’re amazing. They have a full time ukeleist in their band.

Pastor: Huh, sounds made up to me.

Hipster: They’re not. I know lots of bands you’ve never heard of.

Pastor: Oh, wait! I have heard of Johnny and the Seagulls before!

Hipster: Yeah. They’re alright I guess.

Pastor: Yeah that’s, I thought. Alright, I’m gonna head in. Oh, here’s a bulletin before I go.

Hipster: Ugh… arial.

Pastor: Uh oh, ex-girlfriend here?

Hipster: No. This font. It bugs me deeply.

Pastor: You bug me deeply.

Hipster: What?

Pastor: Nothing.

SCENE CHANGE:

Hipster walks over to another hipster.

Hipsterest: Hey.

Hipster: Hi.

Hipsterest: Sigh… This sucks.

Hipster: Really?I think it’s pretty cool.

Hipsterest: I guess it’s alright.

Hipster: No, I hate it.

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